Legally no, only the registry office is binding. We call it Bondingoo: the conscious, recurring decision to truly see each other. Bondingoo works regardless of whether you are married or not.
Bondingoo is the new form of honest marriage, adapted to our world today. It needs no status and no big day, but a fixed rhythm: four times a year you look together at how you are really doing. That honesty easily gets lost in everyday life.
No. Bondingoo is for couples who are doing well together and want to nurture that consciously. Anyone currently in a crisis is better off with a therapist.
From Bonding, which is what it is about. The two O at the end stand for two people.
For couples who want to nurture their relationship consciously and visibly, whatever their relationship status. Some are not yet at the point of marrying at the registry office. Some have been married before and do not want to repeat it. Some cannot see the point of marriage as an institution. And some want to marry at the registry office later and are starting now.
Bondingoo is the light version when it comes to the registry office, and the strong one when it comes to the real relationship.
Especially then. After many years, everyday life is often the biggest valley and closeness no longer arises by itself. Bondingoo gives you a reason to look again. Why that is so, you can read in the article After the high: why every relationship moves in waves.
Many relationships run for years without anything feeling real any more. Not out of ill will, but because everyday life leaves no time for looking. Bondingoo nudges you four times a year to do something for your relationship. That way you keep looking each other in the eye and stay up to date on how your relationship is doing.
In serious crises this does not replace couples therapy.
One of you chooses the first pearl online, along with a word out of 25 for your first year. That creates your shared account. The pearl comes home in a jewellery box, with a card that carries the word and the access for the other.
Only one of the two partners themselves. Not parents, not friends. The first pearl is a commitment within the relationship, not a gift from outside.
Yes, Bondingoo is for both of you. The first pearl is the commitment of one of you; the Bonding year begins as soon as the other accepts the access. You do the conversations and tasks together.
The first one yes, it is the conscious entry. Every further one comes from a Bonding year. Without that year a pearl carries no word, no certificate and no entry in your Bondingoo History.
Yes. Every pearl carries a certified laboratory-grown diamond from 1 carat, always flush-set. Physically, chemically and optically it is a diamond just like a mined one, only its origin differs: grown in a laboratory instead of mined. The certificate of an independent grading laboratory records cut, clarity, colour and carat and becomes part of your Bondingoo History. More on the page The Diamond.
Four nudges through the year: two conversations with your personal celebrant (60 minutes each) and two task blocks in between. At the start you set goals and wishes, discover your love languages and follow a story that runs through your word. In between you check where you stand, at the end you take stock. Everything runs in your Bondingoo login.
Your personal celebrant, who is assigned to you for the year. The conversations take place by video, in German, English or Spanish. The tasks beforehand are your preparation, and your celebrant goes straight into your answers.
You choose the word for the next year together, the new pearl comes home. Every year you decide anew whether you continue. No subscription, no automatic renewal, pausing is possible at any time.
Your Bondingoo History with year, word, pearl and diamond certificate, plus the story you want to tell about each year. You wear the pearls on a band, as a bracelet, necklace, earrings or pendant. From the outside you see pearls, you see your years. More at Your story on a band.
Yes, at any time. In your login you can download your Bondingoo History as a PDF: every year with its word, pearl, diamond certificate and your story. To keep, print or pass on. That way your story belongs to you, independent of our platform and beyond your own lifetime.
Yes, and all of it is optional. You can have your annual wedding speech written (€1,000, with an additional 90-minute conversation) and, if you wish, have your celebrant deliver it (€600 plus travel costs) at your favourite place or at a celebration. If you would like to start with a ceremony, choose the ceremony start (€2,900 including the first Bonding year): a wedding conversation of 2.5 hours, an individual 30-minute conversation each, and the ceremony with speech.
Wherever you like, Bondingoo is not tied to any place. The wedding conversation and ceremony are available in German, English and Spanish.
Your answers and notes are the most personal things you entrust to us. That is why we store them encrypted: even someone who got hold of the database could not read them. The connection to the website is always encrypted. We never store passwords in plain text, only as an irreversible check value.
After several wrong sign-in attempts we temporarily block access, and after a while without activity the system signs you out automatically. The website and portal are hosted by ALL-INKL.COM, a hosting provider in Germany. More in our privacy policy.
You can always see your own answers. You see each other’s answers once you have both submitted a task block. Your celebrant sees them to prepare your conversations. Your wedding planner does not see your answers. None of it is public.
Your Bondingoo History is created as a PDF only at the moment you download it. We do not store it as a file.
Yes. Under “Security” in your login you can turn on two-factor sign-in. Every sign-in then needs a code from an app on your phone in addition to your password. If you change your password, all other devices are signed out automatically. No analytics or advertising services run in the login area.
For celebrants and wedding planners, two-factor sign-in is mandatory from approval onwards, and the same applies to our team. We store the details of your request encrypted. Your profile only becomes visible after our review, and we do not publish your exact location: on the map it appears rounded to about one kilometre. You only see couples who are assigned to you.
The price of your first pearl depends on its configuration: size, material, finish and diamond. You put it together in the configurator. The Bonding year costs €900. The same applies to every further year: €900 for the year plus the new pearl. The annual wedding speech costs €1,000, delivering it €600 plus travel costs. The ceremony start costs €2,900 and includes the first Bonding year, the first pearl comes on top. Photographer and framework programme run via your wedding planner.
More questions? Write to us via the contact form or start straight away with your first pearl.
The wedding is a summit. What comes after and what relationship work has to do with it.
Keep reading →A thought against taking things for granted.
Keep reading →Where the term comes from and what lies behind it.
Keep reading →The tradition of wedding years and what it tells.
Keep reading →The differences between the three classic forms of wedding and why Bondingoo joins as a fourth way.
Keep reading →From a wedding officiant's practice.
Keep reading →Nobody understands a relationship year better than a couple who has lived through one themselves.
The Bondingoo Community is the place where couples exchange experiences. The first pearl, the conversations and tasks of the year, the pearl that grows out of it. And for those who want it, the annual wedding speech or a ceremony. Not an interchangeable relationship forum, but a space among people who know what they are talking about, because they have lived it themselves.
Real stories become orientation: how others experienced their Bonding year, what meaning it became for the next year, what their renewal looked like. Not as a model to copy, but as proof that you're not alone with your own questions.
Three things that set the Bondingoo Community apart from a classic forum.
Couples share what their relationship year was really like, with everything that comes with it, not just the beautiful moments.
Questions about the conversations and tasks, the meaning of the next pearl, the renewal, answered directly by couples who've gone through it themselves.
Insights behind the scenes of Bondingoo, from celebrant training to the making of your pearl.
Wedding speech and ceremony in Mexico, then four years, four pearls, four renewals: Brazil, Hawaii, the Philippines, Costa Rica. Their story, told honestly.
Read the story →For couples already with Bondingoo, no detours, directly in your own login.
Learn more →